Politics: Skipping the Chit Chat

January 26, 2021 by jjacee 1 Comment

Hi Everybody,

If you saw this post somewhere, and you’re now reading this, you can assume this post is meant as an invitation for you to reach out, if interested, once you get to the bottom of the post!

If you’re new here, this is an old blog that I am just getting around to updating this week. It’s been years, literally years, since I last posted. So I’m excited to jump into everyone’s favorite topic: Politics!

You might be wondering what my qualifications are, in order to be discussing Politics!, and you’d be smart to be wondering about that. Here are some things I know a lot about:

• Humility in parenting: I have way more information here than you want.
• Great books for youngish kids: Got you covered. (Both the academic and the poop-joke variety.)
• How to live through 6 months of construction without a kitchen and with two small children and a dog: I can’t promise a plan with much grace, but I can tell you one way to knuckle through and barely make it out by the skin of your teeth.
• Other topics as needed, such as: diapering an aging canine friend; making your bed enough so that it doesn’t look unprofessional in your Zoom background; cleaning 50 year old bathroom vents and replacing old can lights (surprisingly easy!); etc.

So there you go, you’re entering in with eyes wide open. I am very qualified at some things. So let’s get started with Politics!

You should know: I love politics. I grew up in a political household. I’ve spent a lot of time around politics, and as I’ve gotten older I’ve found that my relationship with politics has gotten more and more uncomfortable. Or let me phrase that differently, I have found that my curiosity and interest in politics has not changed much, but engaging in political discourse with others (outside of the GDP) had gotten more uncomfortable, and in fact was mostly nonexistent as we rolled into last year. Party-politics aside, it seemed harder and harder to find people who were interested in actual discussion, dialogue, or debate.

I’ve found it hard to find a place for myself in this world where gray is seen as wishy-washy and questions are seen as oppositional. Social media is not a friendly place for someone who wants to look at an issue with curiosity and questions. Who wants to see all sides and hear from many different voices. I found myself  retreating in frustration from these loud, shallow spaces, but also not finding other channels for deeper more meaningful engagement.

And so, after lamenting and complaining and wondering and wondering and wondering what to do about this, I decided to do two things:

1. Actually start conversations.
2. Search for better online resources.

There had to be other people who were still interested in discussing and learning, I reasoned. There must be others who want to both speak and listen. A person is more than their posts (hopefully).

I started by reaching out to an existing friend group. These were all people I love and respect. They are intelligent, thoughtful, kind, have wildly different careers, and also conveniently fall all along the political spectrum. I was lucky to have this friend group built in on top of a long-standing foundation of support and trust, with a healthy dose of college mischief thrown in. So I threw it out there.

Do you have actual political discussions with people?

Here’s what I learned: It seemed pretty universal that everyone was interested in both engaging in conversation and learning from each other, but we hadn’t found spaces where this occurred regularly. Yes, some people talked about politics, but rarely with people who thought differently than they did.

We tried it out. We were able to do this without judgement, argument, or raised voices. We could openly admit where we needed more information. We could ask each other questions. I think in many ways we had a friendship that allowed for this kind of conversation from the outset. But in other ways it confirmed that this type of conversation is possible if everyone enters with the same expectations. 

Topics Included:

• Who do you talk politics with?
• Do you ever talk politics with people who disagree with you?
• How did your family talk about race when you were growing up?
• Where do you get your news?
• About what issues would you like to be better informed?
• What are your grandparents political beliefs?
• For what issues have your opinions/thoughts/sides changed over time?
• How are you talking to your kids about [fill in the blank]?
• Who would be the best movie character spouse for each person in the group? What can I say, our interests are varied and highly academic.

I’ll talk more about my second point of action in the next post, because I have found some great online communities and resources that I am excited to share.

But I wanted to put this out here, because what I’ve found is that while this certainly doesn’t resonate with everyone, it does resonate with some, and I’d love to find a way to connect like-minded people who are interested in this type of engagement. Let me be clear about what “like-minded” means in this sense. I am not talking about party affiliation. In fact, I’m most interested in having folks with different political views who want to delve in, discuss, listen, and learn from and with each other.

My dad’s advice to me when I was explaining my concern about the overall state of our political world was, “You’ve got to find spaces where you can talk to other people.” So if this speaks to you: if you’re interested in listening, learning, maybe getting a bit uncomfortable, and connecting with others over politics, I’d like to hear from you.

Are you interested in this type of conversation? Are you currently finding it somewhere? Would you like to find other ways to engage?

I haven’t decided on the format moving forward, or even what the next steps, however small, might be. But I did want to start the conversation.