I’ll tell you what, pregnancies with toddlers are no joke. This pregnancy, while similar in so many ways, is also completely different from when I was pregnant with Judah. While I still have the same balancing act of work and life, there is one additional huge change.
Let me tell you what it is, in case the first line of this post didn’t give it away. There are now two kids. The one doesn’t even exist on this side of the uterus, and yet it has already made clear that it has very human needs like food, rest, and care. Meanwhile, there is another child who is indeed on this side of your uterus who also has those needs (plus a few wants), and so far as I can tell, they happen at exactly opposite times.
Judah wants to run, jump, hide, and yell, inside-baby wants to curl up and take a nice nap. Inside baby wants to eat a snack and maybe take a bath, Judah wants to do those things too, but definitely not serenely and definitely with a lot of noise and exuberance. I want to sleep through the night… well at least here both inside-baby and Judah are in full agreement, that is a ridiculous desire. So while the first time around I worried about whether or not I was feeling up to a full hour at the gym after work each day, this pregnant-with-toddler-self giggles at that woman and says, “Gym?! How silly, you haven’t been to a gym in 3 years. But don’t worry, you get to walk up and down the stairs with an extra 50 pounds every time you do it!” (That is holding Judah + inside-baby, in case you were wondering.)
Now, lest you think I’m being terribly sarcastic and horrible, I really do mean the “get to” in the previous sentence. I feel so unbelievably honored to be able to raise Judah and this new baby. While I don’t necessarily think that I’ve fundamentally changed, being a mom has made me into a better version of myself. Maybe a version who runs quite a bit less, and certainly one with less sleep, and perhaps less patience (if that’s possible), but overall, a better person. And I feel deeply grateful that I get to do this every day.
There is also one amazing thing about being pregnant while you have a toddler: you have two kids. Judah is so excited about the baby! He loves talking to the baby. “I went to Ms. Hakima’s today and played with friends!” “Are you dancing in there?!” He loves the idea of a brother or sister, especially since one of his friends at daycare just got a baby sister. “She is very, very little, and very, very cute,” said Judah. And I am so excited to see him with a sibling. We all already love this new baby, and I am thrilled to see how Judah and the new baby grow up and grow together.
Judah Anthony 